HER HOUSE

It’s a thrilling edition for this blog’s birthday.


Tuesday, January 01, 2019
It’s 12.05AM. She is still in the office. She cannot remember the last time she left the office any earlier than 11.00PM. She turns to shred some papers when her phone rings. You cannot count the number of calls she gets every day. She had to blacklist some numbers because apparently, those mjangos are not in line with what she calls her dream and destiny. Her dream? Her dream is to be the most pronounced media technologist in the Kenyan media industry. And of course, after she takes her home country by storm, pimped her portfolio with the best records and grown tired of the smell of the Kenyan Shilling, she will move her residence from the moon to the stars. Wise men have said through experience however, that there is nothing as dangerous as an ambitious woman. 
Ambitious in whichever arena of life. As long as she has the desire or even desperation to acquire something so bad, she is already dangerous. If she has to stir the waters of the sea that a tsunami may wipe out the town of her enemy, she will. If she has to spin herself like a wheel that she may start a tornado to sweep her problems away, she will. If she has to unstrap her bra that she may just make the man next to her psychologically restless, oh be sure she will. And if she has to cut a slit to her already mini skirt just so she may tempt the strength of the wind, trust me mjango, she will!
She turns and sighs. She sighs because she has seen that the caller is her boyfriend. He had tried calling two hours ago but she was in a meeting that was more of a dinner at the new Charlie’s Restaurant in town. She forgot to return the call and now here he is again. It’s 17 days to their first anniversary by the way. Lately, she has tried to keep herself from thinking about how her boyfriend perceives her life and their relationship because of her busy life nowadays. For all she knows, she cannot stand losing him but more importantly, her success matters more to her so she cannot sit and see herself sell her own dream just for the love of love. Women do multitask and they’re good at it. She would tell herself. 
“Hello love.” She picks the call and sits on the edge of her office desk. 
When they were still young lovers, they would narrate imaginary stories of what they would do when alone in an office. Whoever the office will belong to. Fortunately or unfortunately, she is ther only one with an office now and he? He has never gone past the reception of her office building. So that is definitely not a dream come true. 
“Hi darling. Happy New Year!”
She places her palm on her forehead. “Damn! I had not even realized it’s a new year already. Wow. What would I do without you boo? Happy New Year too my love.”
“How are you? God knows how much I’ve missed you.” He says on the other end of the line. He is lying the sofa in the sitting room of their two bedroom house. He would be having his own house. But again, the word there is ‘would’. 
She sighs, “I’ve missed you too. I am just so tired.”
“I’m so sorry. You even sound like you haven’t eaten anything since morning.” 
If only he knew!
“I just want to go home.”
“Honey you mean you’re still in the office?”
“Ah babe si you know how busy I’ve been lately.”
After a short silence, “And don’t you think it’s affecting us in a way?” He says. 
She is silent. She is biting her lip because she has always feared that that day will come when she will be prompted to choose between his time and her job. As if that’s not enough, they are both in university but he is on long holiday. 
“Babe why don’t you move in to my house?” She asks.
He giggles, “You’re kidding, right?”
“Do I sound like I’m kidding? I don’t want to lose us and there is no promising that I will get any less busy than I am now. Plus, the chances of us meeting up are limited and the way I feel like I really need a shoulder to lean on every day after work…”
“Darling say no more. I’d do anything for you. Just tell me how soon.” He says.
She smiles, “Even now hun. What is there to wait for?”
He laughs, “I like that question. Let’s make it tomorrow night. I’ll make it a rosy night for you.”
“And that will be so sweet of you. I can’t wait to have you be the first person I’d see when I come home every day. Honey let me leave the office. We’ll talk when I am home, okay?”
“Okay dear. Take care, I love you.”
“I love you too.” 
r
She hangs up. 
Wednesday 02, January, 2019
It’s 7.12PM. He is shuffles through a bunch of keys one by one trying which one will open the front door to her mini-mansion. Behind him are two suitcases each of them big enough to carry a teenager inside. Maybe two because nowadays teenagers are small bodied. Look at the kids going to form one today. They look like infants in high school uniforms. The door’s lock clicks open and he swings the door. The fragrance of the Tropikal air freshener greets him honorably. Soon enough, he’d missing his one and only and he’d only have the air freshener available for seduction. 
He walks in and caresses the walls looking for the lights’ switch. He taps it and light invades the living room. He freezes, mesmerized at how beautiful the interior is. He poisons the creeping feeling of jealousy to death before it could catch him like a flu. He instead tells himself how privileged he is to have a woman who is successful. She is barely close enough to graduate with her first degree and here she is, owning a mini-mansion already. For mjangos her age, that is a mansion in itself alright. 
He does a happy dance as he tours around the house and eventually locates her bedroom and that is where he’d set camp. Maybe he’d even light up a fire, the kind of fire that is lit up in bedrooms. That one that burns the soul but not to ashes and ignites more life. Ignites passion. She’d come and he’d make her dive right into it. For a moment, it would burn their skins because they would start off with a hot bath in the bathtub. Call it a communal bath. No, couple bath. They’d make memorial jokes while in the bathtub about how they were forced to have communal baths in high school. “Even girls’ schools had communal baths?” He’d wonder. She would tell him that that shit is real especially in schools in Kamba land. 
They’d stay in the bathtub for about an hour. The water would get cold and the bottle of red wine that they drenched themselves with as they cleansed themselves of the filth of the day would run empty. That’s what makes them leave the tub for the furnace itself! The furnace is her king size bed. It even has a roof supported by pillars by the four corners. Nobody would visit the wardrobe for the entire time before she rose up the following morning to go to class and then of course, to work. 
Thursday 10, January, 2019 
It’s 1.36PM. He is wearing a kitchen apron. The home theater that has a speaker fixed in the kitchen is playing Katika by Navy Kenzo feat. Diamond Platnumz on Kiss 100 FM. He does some moves as he travels from one end of the kitchen to another and as he stirs his way to a meal that she will almost pretend to like. She will not tell the mjango that he had spiced the minced meat stew too much. She would understand however since it was all in efforts to impress her and besides, what does she expect when she leaves a man, her man to cook?
That evening, she suggests that they eat at a food joint in Galleria. He buys the idea and for the first time in a week, he leaves the house to some place that is not a local shop to buy airtime. He would have gone out to go to church last Sunday. She had left work at 1.45AM on the previous night and that was reason enough for her to sleep through the day. Apparently, that became his reason too after asking God to overlook it of course – to ditch going to His house of prayer. 
Maybe had he gone to church, The Most High would have given him something the jaws of his mind would chew on. The pastor’s sermon on that Sunday touched on something. Something concerning a man who is living in her woman’s house and surviving but definitely not thriving on her bill! Something about it is totally unethical, socially unacceptable and embarrassing to the proud chama cha boy child. The chama cha boy child even as provided by the maker has rules that defines their relationship with their female counterparts. 
One of those rules is that a man should never live in dependence of a woman. The only woman he can depend on is his mother of which, a time in his life should come and if he doesn’t tell himself to move out, the father should force him out. Mothers do not really have the heart to kick their sons out. She will tell her son repeatedly like a parrot that he needs to go and fend for himself but still call him to the kitchen to serve himself whatever his appetite longs for. This is to say, women were not created to provide and fend for men. It’s not in their nature. Yes they can do it, but not for long. They were designed to support men. Period. Guess since he missed that sermon, he won’t be ready for clash that comes with his residence in his girl’s house all in the name of love.
On that Sunday, he surprised her with breakfast in bed. Mjango has been watching a lot of Kardashian drama and soaps for lack of anything better to do like going out there to work on his hustle. He tells himself that as long as he proves to be doing things that justify his stay, she would always want him to stay. Well, if only he knew that doesn’t make him the man of the house. In fact, it womanizes him more and more every day. But at least the breakfast in bed surprise earned him a morning glory surprise too!
Thursday 17, January, 2019
It’s 8.23PM. They are in Naivasha. She had bought a trip for two at Bonfire Adventures. They are seated at a dinner table reserved for two at the hotel’s restaurant. It looks like a couples’ retreat since most of those who came courtesy of Bonfire Adventures are couples. The clothes they are wearing and will wear for their two days retreat do match. They look like a perfect young couple. Everyone admires how they look and relate yet it is just their first anniversary. They wished them the best and oh yes, they will need those wishes after their anniversary.
Saturday 26, January, 2019
It’s 9.00AM. He slept on the couch waiting for her. She was on night shift on the previous night. She had forgotten or rather she was too busy to tell him that she wasn’t coming home on that night. She came home and found the TV on as he slept drooling on the couch. The coffee table was full of unfinished junk food and they were already dry. 
She wakes him up but not kindly like she used to. 
“Why is this house in a mess?”
Trying to reboot after his sleep has suddenly been cut short, “Oh hi babe. Welcome home.” 
He had not heard anything she had said before. 
“Sorry I slept while waiting for you. You didn’t tell me you were working late,” He wipes his eyes. “Anyway, let’s go to bed it must be very late now.”
She is steaming up more now more than before. 
“I asked you a question!” 
“What question?” He is sober now. 
“Why is this house in a mess? You mean this is how you stay when I’m away?”
“No babe. I don’t…”
“Don’t even call me babe right now. I’m even grateful I didn’t tell you I was on nightshift. Now I know how lazy you are!”
“Babe easy now…”
“Don’t even talk! Look at you, a grown up man drooling on the couch! Do you know how much that couch cost? I bet you don’t even have money to get a professional cleaner to clean that couch. I always have to be the one to make up for your mess.”
“Where has all these come fro…”
“It comes from the lost sense of manliness in you. Just see, you left the TV and the lights on for the whole f****** night! As if you even pay any bills here? All these wasted food as if you have ever bought any food here? I’ve even started feeling like I’m dating my houseboy. Just pack your things, I’m fed up with you. I don’t even feel you no more.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
She chuckles, “Do I sound like I’m kidding?”

Ps: On a day like this years ago, I began this blog. Today, your favorite blog turns THREE YEARS old. It has been an honor writing for you my mjangos. You have been the audience that listens to my thoughts and even adores them. So mjango, I celebrate you. TheMjangoSeries celebrates you. Let’s take this blog to the nextr level this year, together, mjango! Cheers and to many more. 
Remember, as long you keep reading, I won’t stop writing. #wink