TIDES OF FAVOUR

At the time, I had a Casio watch. I can’t remember where I got it from because I didn’t buy it. It was going to be my buffer on that drowsy mission I was on to incase for some reason best known to the witch in my village – I don’t get to hear the bell. On a good day, really, I’d hear it, though it was far from my dorm. It was those old, big bells like that of a Cathedral. I also knew it was quite the risk, but that’s what the Casio watch was for; to watch my back! Apparently, it didn’t. How? I can’t tell.

[In case you missed the sequel to this, I recommend you catch up here.]

My cubicle was directly under a very big tree. On most afternoons, as the heat of Ukambani pressed, there was a cool breeze around there. I slept with my shoes on, because, you know in those times, the need to run away from trouble was constant. I didn’t cover myself, neither did I sleep on my side. I was ready to bolt when it was time. Whoever said forbidden fruits taste sweetest should get a lap dance on my bill. Mjango that was what we call beauty sleep. And yes, it became too sweet, I’d have probably woken up at games time.

Had it not been for a kick on my door! It flew open and I swung up like a zombie upon sensing movement. As soon as I heard that kick, hapo ndio nilijua nimebant. Ass clenched, mouth dry but hands ready to block any canes that would come flying. My brain was still rebooting and so were my eyes. For what seemed like a long second, I sat there waiting to see who dared defy the chambers of the king.

*****

I was to tell y’all about the title Mfalme. Let’s just say that year I had curved myself a reputation for absolute luxury and class. It brimmed all around me.

A good name in the admin was the start of that game. And let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, even in the real world out here, you cannot downplay the power of knowing people and having people know you. You’re just as powerful as the people who know you especially. When you mention their name when you’re caught in a web of trouble, the spider will unwrap you while singing songs of songs. The virtue of people knowing you however is never purely one’s own effort in my opinion. The Lord has to smile on you and cause your star to shine for you to gain favour not just before Him, but before the eyes of men. It’s men you will deal with here on earth, so you bet your toes’ hairs you will need them.

For instance, in form 3 I was an assistant boarding captain. That was the 4^th rank in the prefects body. I didn’t campaign and neither did I have a competitor. It just so happened that I started to gain favour with the boarding master, the one man in that school who was most unpopular, but had the power to make your life there a living hell. Amusingly, he was nicknamed Ruto because I kid you not they resemble like two thumbs. And now in hind sight, the nickname fits not just because of physical resemblance. I had been getting in trouble in my early years and the fact that he had me on his radar wasn’t helping my odds. I’d always escape brutal punishment by a whisker. That narrative changed somewhere towards the end of form 2 when I started to see the light. I’m guessing he also started to realize I’m not actually a crook, it was just the usual system glitch of a teenager. Thankfully, it didn’t last that long.

Just to show you how God works in mysterious ways, on one opening day I came with very nice colourful pair of slippers. God bless my mum. This was after I had to ship the ones I had back home after Mr. Ruto politely asked me to get rid of them because that type of slippers was, in his words, “... premium for boys who sneak because with them, you won’t look like a student out there.” Normally, he would have confiscated them, but I’m telling you the star had started to twinkle. So with my new pairs, I came. Not long after opening day, he saw me with them and complemented the improvement. Not long after, I hid them under my mattress (naive huh) and went to class only to come back and find them missing. I was heartbroken. Angry. I didn’t know where else to take my grief.

After I reported the incident to him, he shared in my grief. One thing about teachers like him was while he was very strict, his strictness was from a good place. A genuine desire to see reformation in the school. Theft was an unforgivable crime to him and therefore, he sympathised. He couldn’t do much, but what I didn’t know at the time was that incident won me more favour. After a few interactions, one day, a few cock crows away from the prefects election, he summoned me. I had no idea what it was going to be about. He proposed that I should consider vying for the assistant boarding captain. I was shocked. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought of that.

I told him I needed time to think, he said not to take too long. I listened to my heart, it was trembling, but it was a greenlight. Let’s do this! For the rest of my 3^rd year, friends, I enjoyed privilege. Oh I did my work well, too well in fact. And everyone who hang around me enjoyed the same. One Lemaiyan and Alan, form ones at the time can testify. The two became family after I had bid my senior friends when they cleared form four. See Good Father for more of that story.

In my final year, I aspired to go big or go home. Unlike Baba, I accepted defeat and was willing to retire peacefully. An entire form 3 spent honouring responsibilities including running the journalism club, was enough – I could as well use the final year to concentrate on what mattered most. Fate however, had it that I wasn’t going to do that while on an empty cheque. A proposal came from the admin that I should consider leading Dorm Ngei. The dorm had a reputation for cleanliness and classiness. Furthermore, I wasn’t new to it because when in form 2, my senior friend was the captain there. Easy life I tell you.

Furthermore, it’s how I didn’t feel any resistance in my heart. At first, I was like, nah mahn, I appreciate the offer... But, the art of listening to your gut is a spiritual exercise that cannot be underrated while growing up. At the end of that year, I was happy things turned out that way.

Need I mention that we were still awarded for being the cleanest dorm that year. The GOATS ate a goat!

Anyway anyway, back to Mr. Ruto. Even after I was no longer directly working under him, the light still shone in favour. Just to mention by the way, he ended up being my Maths teacher in from form 3 term 3, and he was a different man in class. Such an inspiration, very dedicated, fun and kind. If you had any wrangles out there, he’d leave them at the door. Over the years I had a bad attitude towards the subject because of the previous teacher. Heh, mjango what do you expect when you’re constantly told, “Ukipata 20 wewe ni mwanaume! Wewe ni A material.” I swear the top in our class would score 45, and I’d score 38. How would I not boast in failure?

I digress, gosh! Fine. Back to you should know people and people should know you. It was a Wednesday, again. Many people had formed the habit of skipping lunch, by now you know why. For some CU members, it was fasting day. Why they didn’t fast on meat or eggs day is a conversation I know they are not willing to have. I was on my way to join them though, when we were rounded up in the tens by you know who. He just happened to be passing and noticed so many people roaming outside. Those fasting and those just without appetite were all caught in the same net.

Before our crimes could be read to us, he called me by my third name, which everyone so happened to love using back then and said, “Enda huko kwenye nilikutuma.” [Go where I sent you]. Me, confused, I strode to the dining hall. He had not sent me anywhere. I even didn’t know whether we were in trouble. I sat in the dining hall until lunch was over.

Mjango, turns out the rest of these guys frog marched to the staffroom and the days of Nyayo torture chambers were relived on them.

The crime?

“Skipping lunch! The school is spending money to buy food, and it’s all going to waste because of you people!”

“But mwalimu we are fasting!”

“Ulikuja shuleni kufast? Lala chini!”

“Mwalimu... Mwalimu...”

Whip! Whip! Whip!

“Na wewe shida yako ni gani?”

“Mwalimu sina appetite.”

“Eh! Ambia hao wanafast wakugawie yao!”

Whip! Whip! Whip!

“Mwalimu me naumwa na tumbo.”

“Hio ni njaa!” Inama!”

Whip! Whip! Whip!

Later that afternoon when I heard the stories, I honestly didn’t know how to feel. I can only say, ni God manzeh.

*****

When that long second was over, Dominic walked in. Hands in pocket like a mafia boss running an errand he’s not supposed to. His face, almost expressionless. I’d want a little more than that maybe to gain some comfort that I’m not in trouble, or better, to start cushioning my ass if the opposite is true.

The man of few words said, “Amka twende.”

I was like yes sir, anything you say sir! I walked behind him like a humble servant. The king was now afraid for his life. I hadn’t checked the time, I didn’t even think to do so. I was still disoriented. I couldn’t tell how much I had slept, because that would equal to how much trouble I was in. I was following him sheepishly and maybe he was leading me to my grave because he wasn’t saying where we were going or how much trouble I was in.

Just before we passed the taps, he said, “Osha uso kwanza.”

Sir yes sir! In fact, good idea. If anything, the last thing I needed was evidence of cobwebs on my face. His final words as we approached the block, “Ukiulizwa, sema ulikuwa umeitwa na mwalimu.”

I even didn’t ask which teacher. In my mind, I automatically knew whose name I’d take cover in if it came to it.

We got to class. I couldn’t remember which subject was supposed to be next after lunch. I just walked in and saw the CRE teacher, a light skinned madam with a very feminine voice. Normally she was chill, but it’s those ones that you don’t want to insult with ignorant actions like these. The last person she’d expect such from, was me.

I sat on my desk, and she stopped mid sentence to ask me where I was. I wasn’t going to think twice about it, I had a script, so I used it.

She looked at me for a while as if trying to smell a rat.

“Oh ni sawa.” Then she proceeded.

I turned to Dominic, decorum was the only thing stopping me from giving him a brotherly embrace. Knowing teachers wasn’t enough, you should know Dominic!

And friends, if you hear I was summoned back to school, just know them teachers read this.

*****

I write this to address the part of me that even for a moment, thought that my dreams were enough to take me to places. The part of me that thought that my efforts, and boy I can put in elephants of effort – is enough to drive me to whatever success is. That being a good person; well behaved, honest, reliable and focused was the hall pass to the White House of life. This is not to say that they don’t matter, in fact, they do, a lot! But adulting is realising that there’s a catch to this saying that was drilled into our heads back in our primitive years, “Hardwork pays.”

All your good effort, and being a nice person as you journey through life and your craft is akin to hardwork, and it pays, to some extent. The lack of it is dangerous, and the sole reliance on the same is equally hazardous. The hardwork, now that I think about it, did work for school. But in the school of life? You need more than that.

You need people. You need people who know people. Your efforts and talents could be very admirable, but you will need someone to take your hand and walk you into the right rooms or even defend you in those rooms. Fine, your talent or your degree certificate can and will get you to the door, but beyond that, it’s a whole different ball game. You will need to prove yourself worthy beyond words. That thing you thought you’re so good at? You will need to take it back to the works and polish it every waking day so you can stay relevant. That certificate is proof of your academia, but not proof of your skills. You will learn that knowledge is good, but applied knowledge is what sells out here.

And mjango even after you have done all that faithfully like the sun, still, if there’s nobody to notice your talent, nobody to give you a platform, or nobody to mentor you? It may all come to nought. There is power in people. Your talent will bring you before great kings, ferr nice! But there’s one thing that will give you a sit there. It’s not necessarily your talent. It’s favour.

It’s how we have gone from being well behaved, to being committed and reliable, to being focused and hardworking, to being knowledgeable, to being skilled, to standing by the door of opportunity, to meeting kings, and finally to nothing more than favour. Do not delude yourself into thinking that the prior attributes are worth nothing when you ride on the cloud of favour. Because that’s what it is, a cloud, any sudden change in temperature and you’re going to rain down hard like the hailstone you’ve become. Discipline will keep favour entertained.

And just to show you how favour is interesting, sometimes you will fall short, but it will still cover you. Sometimes, you’re not even that knowledgeable or skilled. You wonder how some people out here have got the jobs or opportunities they do yet they don’t seem to be as good. Friends, being nice does not guarantee favour in the land. But it doesn’t mean you disrespect it when you receive it. The point is growing to accept that after you’ve done all you can do to progress in your adult life – which can include and I recommend intentionally building relationships, ask for favour and then relax!

Don't be a sycophant though.

This is very sentimental to me because in my early 20s, I would get stressed when things were not moving. 2020 was a tough year for everyone, but if I’m to speak for myself, that and the next one and the next were trying times because I would stop and ask myself, “What have I not done? What have I not applied? What have I not tried? Is it for the lack of effort? No. Is it for the lack of trying? No. So what is it?”

The answer, was simple yet not so simple for someone like me who was used to equating results with efforts. The answer is sometimes you just need to learn how to chill, live one day at a time, and make peace with existing when there’s nothing more you can do. The moon will soon be full and high, and the tides will turn in your favour. When they do, you WILL NOT and I repeat WILL NOT have to do much. Everything will just fall into place.

Suddenly, I was called to deliver on a gig and I was paid upfront in full. Not long after, I decided to go get my high school certificate. It had been so long. Two weeks before that, someone posted in a group that there’s an opportunity, not saying for what exactly, but if interested, forward your name, ID number, and the university course. I did so reluctantly and forgot about it. A week later, I got a call from someone who was following up on that. Again, I didn’t think much of it. It was a very weird conversation by the way.

Just after I had my certificate in my hands, one of these same teachers I have been writing about made a polite ask for us to buy them soda. I was with Wafula, a former classmate. We were going to dig deep to buy sodas for over 50 teachers but we decided it was the least we could do to appreciate them. Most of those teachers were not even there when we left. As soon as the sodas were cascading through their throats, I got a call from that same guy and he spoke like he was on fire asking me whether I had checked my portal for a confirmation letter. I kid you not, he called just in time because the following day would have been too late yet it had been sent days ago but I didn’t see or get a notification of any kind. Mark you, this one would have need me to present all my certificates and there I was, just at the nick of time collecting the outstanding one.

This man who did not know me, I had never met and neither had I done anything to deserve his concern stood in between the heavens and me over an opportunity that was long time coming.

So what do we say unto these things my brothers and sisters? Your blessing; your next level, answer, or even escape lies among people, not angels – not really. I mean, angels don’t drink sodas.