“Mimi nishai kuwa na rebound while still on attachment, then the nigga had a girlfriend? Sha!!!!!! The devil works overtime?”
Was the catch phrase I caught in my creative net from the lake of Betty’s story and struggled a little to pull it out of the water like a drunken mudfish. Mudfish, that slimy and stubborn son of Aquaman. (I would have said son of a bitch but dogs don’t take fish out for dinner, they have fish for dinner.)
(Read the previous episode here.)
I saw one two weekends ago at the shores of Lake Victoria. A fisherman had just docked his boat on that sunny afternoon with a frown on his face. Not so much fish in his baskets but the gold of the day for him was that mudfish, designated in it’s own basket. It’s the size of an elephant’s manhood.
You could smell the bitterness in him. (The fisherman, not the mudfish.) A faded baseball cap on his head to cover his frown from the sight of the sun, the celestial body nature bows to. If the sun got to see his bitter face, maybe he would curse him by bleaching his dark luo skin there and then. And his ancestors, who people over there believe they reside deep in the lake would no longer acknowledge him as one of Ramogi. And that’s how they would strip him off of his fishing worthiness.
He would then resolve to go to Nairobi after one of his relatives advises him saying, “Bi imany tich narobi kata mar watchman. Angeyo ni in ja lup rech lakini mari ni koro en kaka rito rech tho.”
(“Kuja utafute kazi nairobi ata kama ni ya watchman. Najua wewe unavua samaki lakini hio sasa nikama kuchunga samaki.”)
Before he goes to Nairobi where the mother of problems and corruption resides and to be watchman in a club in Juja, I peered into the horizon of the lake later that evening.Seated on a concrete pavement until my bum becomes numb but I don’t feel it because the serenity of mother nature has stolen all my senses and attention. I look at her like a King Mswati would a dancing voluptuous Swazi woman right before him. She does nothing less than juggle up the testosterone in a man. Probably one of the greatest gifts she was born with.
Weird thoughts cross my mind. Like what could lie at the bottom of such a huge lake. Whether there could be a village in the deepest part of nam. A village with people who speak in gurgles. Of course they couldn’t be wearing clothes for obvious reasons. Infact, they’d know nothing about civilization. And wearing clothes mjango, is a sign of civilization. So I guess when you’re about to get kinky with your woman or man you’d whisper sexily in their ear, “Let’s get uncivilized!”
And they’d reply, “Yes baby, let’s break the law!”
I’d peer into the horizon where the lake is swallowed among hills. The waves overlapping like lovers fighting to get on top of each other. The sun hanging shyly at the ceiling of the horizon like an orange chandelier. The waves rush to the shore giving it a sloppy wet kiss from time to time. I feel like singing a Luo song to grace the moment. Maybe Kanungo Kanungo. But loins of mother nature are being turned on and I can’t do anything to join in the splurge. Maybe taking my clothes off, sorry, stripping myself off of civilization and going for a swim would do but who wants to see Mjango naked? I bet not even mother nature and the ancestors of Ramogi either.
If only we could bask in that serenity for my entire life. But the reality is, I’d have to go back to face the real world. The cruel one. That has a face like a raped bear. Among those realities is the fact that people get heartbroken and they’d do all sorts of things to find consolation or forget the pain. Some resolve to alcohol, like a girl friend of mine who’s also my classmate swore she’d do if she’d ever have to wear the shoes of heartbreak. Some resolve to drugs and hard drugs. Some jerk off their souls as some delve into a sex spree. At times, some would seek for a temporary emotional cave of refuge that doesn’t involve physical sensuality. That’s a relationship where you love without loving. The crave for care and love is what you seek for from another person to fill the void in you. Or a temporary emotional attachment with sex involved. And alot of it for that matter.
All of the mentioned that involves a second party after yourself mjango is not called anything else but a rebound!
“F*** you Martin!”Are the last words she remembers saying to her ex after he had shoved a break up decision on their table extemporaneously.
“You know that one relationship that was heaven on earth for you? That one guy who hit the ovaries of your heart real well making you a prisoner of his dumb ass?”
“Just like I got the balls of my heart tickled well by one chille and she kicked them later like a rat in her way. So yes I know.” I told Betty, a loyal friend from JKUAT.
I had asked her whether she knew anyone with a rebound story and she presented herself as the first candidate. Receive my gratitude Betty.
The mind of a heartbroken girl is like that of a lost wildbeast. Raging and scared at the same time. She sat on a high fancy stool at a club in Juja waiting for whatever the hell life wanted to bring her way. For all she knew, she had lost her pride as a princess and a loved one in that case about two weeks ago by then. Seeing a lovey dovey couple made her want to throw up in her glass of cocktail standing like a small and slim model before her.
When a girl loses love she has almost lost all that she lived for. Love is the most precious currency in a woman’s world. Now here she was spending the last penny of it not reinvesting in the business of love again but on a couple of drinks that perhaps would escort her off to cloud nine where she will forget how poor she has become for some good few hours.
It was around 8.30pm. Still too early to drain all the cocktail dry. She was also waiting for a man but of course not anxiously waiting. She was just waiting. She had her drinks ready in store if at all he didn’t show up. Besides, who is a fool to count on a guy they met on Tinder?
“Yeah!” She projected. “I have this friend who has got countless hook ups from Tinder. So I thought, if it works for her, why can’t I try it? For the record, I wouldn’t advise anyone looking for any serious relationship to go to a dating site. It’s for those who want casual stuff of which is also dangerous sometimes. You never know who you’re dealing with.
So there I was. Bored and decided why don’t I meet new people? The reason it couldn’t work for me in the long run unlike my friend is because I crave to know someone. I don’t do casual. I don’t just go out with guys to have fun and that’s the end of that story. I had kinda gotten along with the guy I was meeting.”
A few sips, three ogle sessions at cute guys and five sighs later, he showed up. It’s like he knew her already. He just walked in, scanned around and spotted her. He matched confidently towards her as she fixed her eyes on him through every stride.
“Alafu this nigga looked exactly like my ex like shilingi kwa ya pili! I was like the hell! What’s happening? The height, the complexion, the facial features the physical structure, looked like the same person. I was so shocked! I was so shocked!”
It’s not a surprise that you’d experience mirages and drawings of resemblance about your ex.
“His aura preceded him. He wasn’t a bad guy but what turned me off was that I had to sit and just listen to him talking about his ex! Yani the nigga was just not over her. Iya! We are seated and drinking… Ah me I have never met a guy who talks about a woman like that. Telling me sijui about their experiences, how they met, eh! I was like, “Sa? You you just need to go back to her.”
“It only means you were two lost souls who had met each other,” I said and chortled.
“Ai even if!”
And so the alcohol began to kick in. Slowly but heavily like an angry baby rhino trying to break the door of it’s cage. The short hand of the clock had grabbed the 10 part of it. It’s counter part, the long hand, probably just like tall, cute guys do – was caressing through all the other numbers swiftly whispering to all of them the same thing like, “I will be back in the next round. I hope you’ll miss me.” And like cute naïve girls the numbers would sit still while blushing, clinging on to the same old promise of a play boy.
She had no intentions to do anything with the guy. But again, she had no intentions of regulating herself for she was a free bird back in the wild. Like that long hand on the clock, the chap caressed through the small of her back and her bumper as they danced together. She could smell his impending hard on and he could feel her resurrected wild ghosts dancing across her spine.
Every dance step they took on the dance floor was a tactical stride towards the nearest place with a bed in it. She says he was more drunk than she was but she also had her fair share of intoxication.
They made out on the dance floor. That’s where and when the earth wire was plucked and there was no stopping both horny bodies from the lustful electric shock that followed.
“And that was purely casual.”
“Did it relieve you off your heartbreak?”
“That shit didn’t help me anything! Haikunisaidia at all! At all! It just went on to damage me. Ju I was just going left, right and center meeting people and just getting heartbroken. Until I decided to sit down and actually start spending time with myself, being myself and knowing myself. I concentrated on other things apart from relationships. That is when I actually healed. But all this about jumping from one person to another is not for me. Because I end up disappointed or there are some things that are not healed so you’re just carrying the buggage to the next relationship. I understand why people do it, but it ends up damaging us more than it actually helps us.
The time I really had a rebound which is unintentional rebound was one time I was from a very bad relationship. So the break up was like a relief. That’s the one I was saying I was still on attachment. So there was this guy who knew that I was in a relationship and so he was like, “Sa ju mshaachana…” And was like f*** it! Kwani what’s to it? I found out like three weeks later that he had a girlfriend. Eiy yawa! Maisha imenichapa huku nje. Mjango! Anyway, it’s life.”
It got me thinking, unintentional rebounds?
If this friend of mine I am about to introduce was a doctor, she would make a wonderful social doctor. Mjango, help me welcome Oprah.
[1/31, 11:12] The_Mjango: Anyway, I am doing a story on rebounds. ? What’s your definition of a rebound?
[2/1, 11:41] Oprah :): A rebound is someone people use as a distraction when they want to get over a previous relationship
Could be sexual or otherwise but its mostly sexual.
[2/1, 11:42] Oprah :): I feel more questions coming
[2/1, 13:59] The_Mjango: Haha. You feel well.
[2/1, 14:00] The_Mjango: Well expressed. Is it possible to get into a rebound without knowing? (Note, that is different from being the rebound.)
[2/1, 14:17] Oprah :): Yes it is possible
Especially if you haven’t been single for a while…there’s a possibility that you will mistake concern or shared trauma for interest.
[2/1, 14:22] The_Mjango: Daaamn. Thaz deep.
[2/1, 15:05] The_Mjango: How effective is a rebound??
[2/1, 15:06] Oprah :): I wouldn’t know ???
I haven’t done it before.
[2/1, 15:11] The_Mjango: ??eiy na si umejitoa haraka haraka.
[2/1, 15:15] Oprah :): ? Hapo mimi siko.
[2/1, 15:08] Oprah :): But based on what I have heard it makes things worse cz you feel like you used your rebound and yourself as well.
I haven’t come across someone who thinks that it works.
[2/1, 15:11] The_Mjango: Ala! This is new. Ebu explain the ‘yourself’ part kindly.
[2/1, 15:20] Oprah :): Using your body or emotions to mask/escape your pain is using yourself because you aren’t thinking clearly and you are being led by impulse other than logic and reason.
[2/1, 15:34] The_Mjango: Makes alot of sense. Really does. And now hehe, you said it could be sexual or otherwise. Otherwise can have on board what and/or what? Just a normal emotional relation that is not physical?
[2/1, 17:17] Oprah :): Yes I was referring to emotional relations.
[2/1, 22:06] The_Mjango: Aha okay. Well then. I think that’ll do. thank you ?? always for being my intellectual comrade.
[2/2, 15:52] Oprah :): Karibu??