Ancient Posts

GENTLEMAN OR GENITAL MAN?

“Some ladies have no issue when a guy satisfies his eyes on them. …” You won’t believe I was told this. I did not want to either.
Last week’s blog post, ‘Birds of the Same Feather’; sprouted several reactions. A good number of mjangoz confessed being guilty of the same kula kwa macho mannerisms. But you know dudes, they throw it away in justification saying, “Argh, mwanaume ni mwanaume. It’s what shows that we are pointed in the right direction.” (Read in between the lines there.) But how about our female counterparts? Boy oh boy mjango. That is why I had to make this post a resultant feature of last week’s.
So I hooked up with Ruby a day after the post. She is a fellow blogger. Yea it’s a bloggers’ thing to go out once in a while for a drink to have both the serious and sometimes crazy chats. She has a thing for cappuccino that I don’t. In fact she is still not convinced that I cannot take anything with caffeine.
“Vick you have to tell me why you don’t even do tea or coffee, the simplest of all beverages.”
I remain adamant. “You just won’t get it even if I tell you. What’s the use?”
“What have you ever told me that I didn’t get?”
I ignorantly sip my cocktail like I didn’t hear a thing she said. She sighs. The long silence begins to suffocate me. She also pretends not to care.
I ask tactically, “Why you trying to fight my destiny?”
I peep to see how she would take that in. And as I expected, I caught her trying to suppress a giggle. She let it out and said, “You seem not to know the sweet things in life.”
“Psssht! You call coffee and tea sweet things of life? And what will you call the good good times with your hubby?”
“Dummy! You just don’t know what you are missing mjango.”
“How sweet of you to call me mjango. I’ve never heard you call me that.”
Frankly speaking, that made me feel like a special blogger. Too good a feeling I tell you. Better than when Sarah Hassan would dare to call me ‘Bae.’ Ooh yes. I just had to mention her. Kenyan mjangoz, the hunks and hunk nots; are feeling it, know? “She just had to get married.” You’d hear them say.
Mjango if you think you can wahi someone like Hassan….Ruby broke the ice right before my face on why such dreams are only wet ones, for many mjangoz out there.
“Vick are you about to cry?”
“No no. Hell no. It’s just that there is a magical feeling when you call me by my blog title.”
“Come on now. Don’t be such a baby.”
“I’m not. Let me ask, you read my recent blog post right?”
“Of course I did. Who am I to miss out? I must say Vick you never seize to amaze me with your sarcasm. One day you are checking out on Rwandan hotties, now here you are a victim of kula kwa macho sect. ”
“So am I supposed to feel guilty or something?”
I notice she is about to roll her eyes and I go, “Don’t even think about it!”
“But it was a good one.”
“Mmmh… If I may ask, a lousy query.”
“Kawaida yako.”
Kwenda. How do you respond to a guy who can’t help but feed on you with their eyes? Sincerely, you have all properties an insane, sane and paranormal mjango… ”
“No don’t finish that statement. I hate it already. I see them so many times. Though you are worth an answer.”
My face lights up in anticipation.
She declares, “Some ladies have no issue when a guy satisfies his eyes on them. And personally, I don’t mind at all…”
My mouth drops.
I thought better than to tell her “So I can start on a daily meal of ogling at you for two minutes ukiniangalia tu na hutanichapa kofi!
Dry of words, “You are not serious.”
She breaks into a sweet laughter, sips her cappuccino and wears a serious, bad and boojie face.
“Here is what I mean. I don’t mind at all as long as he does it in a decent way. ”
“Wait! Decent? How can kukula kwa macho be decent? In this world?”
Easy Boy. It can be done decently trust me. I’m the lady here. So I know. If I was a dude I’d look, in a way to not make it obvious. Maybe a side smile and bite my lower lip then if I am brave enough, walk to her and tell her ‘Hi miss, I’ve just come to tell you that you look really lovely’ say nothing more… Wait for her response.
No lady would be mad at that. Most of us ladies, love GENTLEMEN . Just a tip.
 
But the men I have a problem with are those who make sounds as if you’re some meal they are about to feast on. And calling you out ‘Sasa msupa umebeba joh’
Once you sexualize it, that’s game over. We hate that.
 
I could rant forever but you get the gist.”
 
I take off my glasses, rub my eyes. I want to laugh, but this is serious. This is just how wanaumez lose it.
I didn’t want to ask whether she counts me among the gentlemen she has in her life. I just couldn’t take ‘No’ for an answer.  No mjango can. But I felt her. Ladies are just fed up with pink men all around. As someone I know put it. Fake men just to be clear.
A mjango who texts chics from nowhere and even instead of being decent to add themselves some bonga points, there they are, ‘Hi babe”… “Niaje msupah”
For those lucky to be granted sometime to prove themselves worthy, they mess up there game with their lusts and perverseness. Mjango, some queries like “Are you a virgin?”. And you expect to be called a gentleman? Heaven knows what you are up to when you ask that kind of a question.
So what have they turned into? Men who do not know how to treat ladies. Having bushy methods and tactics of approaching ladies. And who said it’s all about love anyway? Behaving like they have a right to be loved by every lady. And if they don’t believe in love, why do they use it to screw chics?
It’s how a guy treats a lady that awards him value. In case they don’t know, they just threw away the word ‘gentle’ in gentleman and consciously or unconsciously (who cares anyway); fixed in the word ‘genital’. Because clearly, that is all many of them are all about.
To them patience is not a virtue.  If it is then it is too expensive for them to afford. Gentlemen don’t screw up and run away, hide in heaven knows where. The highest degree of cowardice. If you spilled the beans you spilled the beans, kubali. I bet the mjangoz are silently shouting that they are tired of being men they were born to be. Their manhoods be lying to them that they are something they are not.
When Ruby finished talking, all that had really found a way to her nerves. Talk of damu kuchemka. With her light skin, she had turned red. She stood and left for the exit. I had to postpone my disbelief and follow her.
“Ruby! Ruby wait up…” I almost left without paying.
The Lord better come and save his people. ASAP.
If you think you are a gentleman, ngoja uambiwe na mdada. To the genital men, Ruby says your days are numbered.
 
 
 
 

11 comments

Brian Anyona March 6, 2017 at 11:38 am

It’s Funny but it’s true that most guys are genital men but gentlemen are a rare species mjango,so what can ladies do to bring out the gentleman inside the genital man??

Reply
Hazel knight March 6, 2017 at 9:45 pm

I don’t think that is possible…bringing out a gentleman out of a genital man…if you were a lady how would you do that to a guy who sees you walking and starts seeking your attention by whistling and calling you as if you were some street dog!!

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Manasseh Mukoshi March 6, 2017 at 11:59 am

Hapo umePonga zenz! Waambie hao team scavengers aka mafisi sacco

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TheMjangoSeries March 7, 2017 at 10:56 am

Mpaka waskie

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Hazel knight March 6, 2017 at 9:41 pm

Damn! Ruby gave it as it is…and just to add on being a gentleman it’s simple math but one thing with maths is that you need to follow each and every step

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TheMjangoSeries March 7, 2017 at 10:55 am

indeed Hazel

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Tom March 7, 2017 at 12:42 am

Mjango your blows are hitting us really hard!!!!but its all true apo…..I remember mum used to tell me sometimes during supper”junior kula vizuri”
I think mjangos should extend this while feasting on the mdadas…..It makes them feel wako worthy kukulwa

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TheMjangoSeries March 7, 2017 at 10:56 am

Haha.. Ati kula vizuri.. wEWE KIJANA

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Mariam March 7, 2017 at 8:34 pm

I love this piece☺. Those inappropriate creatures calling themselves men should absolutely read and put practise to this blog. I’ve seen those gentlemen and they’ve complimented a number of times. It was nice of them. But these other “things”, let me just don’t. But one word for them. MANNERLESS

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TheMjangoSeries March 9, 2017 at 10:43 am

Haha.. Mannerless for sure

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alice March 9, 2017 at 12:27 pm

Hahaha

Reply

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