Hey! How are you today??
I’m doing great. Just a bit busy.
With what if I may ask?
I was helping a friend to produce a song.
(Read the previous episode here.)
Oh really? So you do music?
Yes. And I love it with my whole heart, yes. It’s what I have been doing since I was little.
Tell me about it..
Haha well. I discovered I could sing when I was 13 years old. There is this song that I really loved by Lucky Dube called I’m a prisoner. Ever heard it?
No lie ? Reggae is like a foreign language to me.
? Oh really? Okay my bad. But that’s the first song by an artist I got to know off head. I used to find myself singing it and my friends would be like, “Kaka si unaimba kama Lucky Dube mwenyewe.” So for quite sometime my nickname was Dube. ?
Wow! Nice. So much for knowing what you love. People like me all we know is how to sing in the shower and dance in the mirror ?
Ala! ? Tell me you dance before a mirror without clothes.
Ask the mirror ?
Ah! You sure he won’t be as jealous to tell me the truth? ?
We both know mirrors don’t lie. ?
Oh yes they don’t my dear. I hope I’ll be that mirror one day. ?
You gat big dreams. ? But first the musical dream. So that’s how you got to take the musical path?
Yea, with time I started writing my own songs. I had always dreamed of doing my own music and use it to help my mum and siblings. Seeing where I am today fills me with so much joy and humility.
I must say I am happy for you. Keep doing your thing Duke.
(Duke is not his real name.)
With the right kind of vibe around me, I definitely will. And you seem to have a positive vibe that I love to see in a lady. ?
And I like to see a man who has got his life under control. Projects his energy towards major moves in life. I really admire that. ?
As much as I admire how smart you are? And how beautiful you are? ?
Don’t you think it’s still quite early to say that? ?
If two weeks of constantly talking to you and staring at your pictures every single day of it is what you call early ? then that’s early enough for me.?
You really do know how to bring in nice words. You know words are the brooms that sweep ladies off their feet? ?
So you’re being swept off? Meaning you’re falling? ?
Let’s just stick to being swept. ? But yes, I’m being swept alright.
And I’d want to sweep you even more. Maybe sweep you to a date. Just you and I?
Someone wants to take me out on a date? ?
If you wouldn’t mind precious Lynne, yes. ?
But you’re in Mombasa and I’m in Nairobi my Duke.
Mombasa is just a flight away my Duchess. Let that nor worry you.
? I’m lacking words now.
? You don’t need to say anything my dear. Just say yes.
I’ll think about it handsome.
“So that was your conversation with the guy you met on Tinder? I asked.
“Yea. We started bonding well in the second week. He is really a nice guy.” Lynne said.
I leaned back and growled. “By nice you mean very flattery?”
She chuckled, “Come on now. But who doesn’t like to flirt? I mean, many times it has played well to dose us out of our realities. I’m sure you’ve enjoyed some flirts yourself Mjango.”
“Well, did you just had to point the gun back at me Lynne?”
“Well, I take that as a yes, Mjango is no exception when it comes to flirting. He also has realities to escape from. It’s perhaps his way of getting high considering he even doesn’t know the difference between wine and whisky,” She said and nearly caused a scene about it. I had to accept the accusations so that the matter could rest. I know you all are wise enough not to believe everything you hear, right?
“So you were taking nothing between you and Duke seriously?”
“Let’s say I was about to. But before it was short lived… By the way I still had not known who he really was.”
“All you did was just…”
“No don’t you dare Mjango. I know what you want to say. We just continued to know each other. We really talked alot by the way. Like a lot!”
“But who he was just didn’t dawn even after talking about his work?”
“You see what people may get is that you don’t just process that someone is a big name from a normal conversation especially if they are trying not to make it known. He just answered my questions casually like he would to anyone. And if you haven’t ever seen him before, it’s even harder. Plus,” she giggles, “I had had my fair share of a big name. I never thought I’d be lucky twice.”
That day, I woke up feeling like the world, my world, had lifted it’s skirts. I don’t know how you will picture that but that’s how I felt. Like the skirts were drawn over me and the breeze of well being was making way into the chambers of secrets. Wonderful chambers they are. I had taken a break from school for two reasons.
One, hell I just needed a break. I’m among those who believe it’s healthy. Two, my cousin was getting married. The cuffs of love and life had finally made way to her wrist and that of the man of his dreams who must have had a swollen knee by then. Why? You may ask. Because Alicia, my cousin, is not the easy type of chic. That’s not to say the rest of us are, but, she had set the bar quite high for men out here.
The only man who has been able to whether the storms Alicia creates with so much as her exhalation is the one who will stand at the end of the aisle she would be walking on later that day. She was never like that before. She grew a thick skin around her heart after shit happened when she was 22. The normal shit. She loved a guy too much and he took it for granted. End of that story. She was not going to sit and sob her entire life. Ever since then, she has been as hard hearted as Karma’s mother for all the right reasons however.
Six times her husband to be had gone on his knees. Not because he wasn’t good enough. But that was her way of proving to herself that he was the man. Oh, if it’s a game of numbers then hear this, 6 men had proposed to marry her. Four of them did so twice and gave up. The seventh man, who probably now feels like a World War Three veteran stood or rather knelt three times more than the men who had the best score of proposals before him.
She should show the rest of us where more of those men are hidden. I will personally organise a ladies SWAT troop and we will raid the house or whatever the place will be. Must be where God created them and stored them there. Only releasing them one by one to various places on earth. We will take down the guards patroling the compound with snipers, jam the telephones and radio signals, blackout the CCTV cameras, hack the security system and storm the house through both the front or back door. And there we will have the treasure that all ladies dream of trapped in one house.
We will be divided into teams. Bravo one, two, three and four. Ah, Mjango insists that we call the teams ‘mjango’ instead of Bravo. We leave Bravo for the movies we borrowed these military ideas from. So Mjango four will move to the right wing downstairs. That’s the dining area. They’ll find the men that are good cooks. We love those.
Mjango three will take the left wing downstairs, the living room. Careful, those in the living room are suspected to be loud and rowdy since they will be probably playing playstation. Fifa 2020 to be exact. They are still the good breed of men even if they are rowdy. So we’ll still take them.
Mjango two will take upstairs. The men there are likely to be the smart men. They will be studying or playing chess by the balcony. We love smart men, don’t we ladies.
And finally, Mjango one will take the basement. That’s where the gym is likely to be. Team leader leads Mjango one. I am the team leader y’all! The body builders are likely to be there. We might want to take some time with them before exfil. (i.e.: Exfiltration operation. Military terms, so don’t be boggled.) And we will bring the brothers of my cousin Alicia’s husband to the rest of us ladies. Some of us might be forced to share. But it’s alright, right? It’s better than some samples living amongst us today. Issaplan?
Damn! So I was waking up. I drew my curtains and there, I had the best kiss ever. From the man that has never failed to rise when we need him. He stays hard until he falls back when we have had enough of him and we want to take a break from him. He is the sun. I took a selfie while he kissed me. I was still in my sleeping robe. I posted it on my WhatsApp status and dudes among my contacts couldn’t stop sending drooling emojis. Well, ‘looku but don’t touch!’
I was part of the team that was assigned to do the bride’s maids make up. They said I looked stunning in my long sleeved A-line dress and velvet wedges. We later took pictures and Lord! We looked amazing. It was among the days I felt beautiful leave alone looking beautiful. I watched the two love birds say their own composure of vows to each other. Their words brought a thick cloud of emotion in the chapel. It was lovely to hear how both of them expressed the battles they had to fight to make their worlds meet. Their Garden of Eden is here.
As I watched them, I thought about Chris. I found myself asking what could be of us. My heart went down like a tree cut by it’s base when the sad reality hit me that me and him was a fairytale. I shouldn’t expect anything from him. Just being real. Look at how Alicia’s tale is hard earned. Chris is just too good to be true. And I guessed that was why he had reduced communication. But somewhere inside of me, there was a conviction that he was serious. I couldn’t shake it off. The only problem was I am the seeing is believing type. I act based on what I have at hand. And apparently, what I had in hand was Duke. I wasn’t giving him much credit yet, but since he was present on stage at the time, I was open to watch his performance. I would later learn what performance meant to him. Though I must say I liked his vibe.
Mugithi played while at the reception and I forgot for a moment that men existed except for the man that was singing it. He is the only man that mattered at the time as we heated our Kikuyu blood by shaking our bodies and seduced our ancestors by harmoniously moving our feminine feet to and fro the grass that carpeted the garden. They say that circle of ladies that dances during a reception at a wedding is a silent audition. You might just dance your heritage away without knowing that you’re dancing before an audience that has your miracle man seated among them. Like the way you watch nude chicken grilling in circular motions in restaurants in CBD. You take your time watching the fairest chicken of them all. The nude dead chicken that dances to the tune of the heat better than all the others is the ideal chicken. Same case with the dancing circle at a wedding.
At the after-party, my legs hurt from the excessive dancing and so I sit at a dining table and chilled. The first time since morning on that day, I took out my phone. I got so many messages from Duke. First thing that came to mind, ‘This guy is mad over me.’ It was 9pm. He had grown worried because I was not responding to his messages.
His last message was:
Lynne darling, where are you???? ??? I miss you.
Hi Duke. ? I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you today I’d be out for the entire day. I was at my cousin’s wedding. I’m now at the after party. So tired. But I’m sorry. ?
At midnight, he was back online. For some reason I was still awake. He wrote:
?? She is baaack. Gosh!!!!!! You made me want to cry . ?? I thought I had done something wrong to push you away.
No dear. You didn’t. Don’t worry.
I wanna caaaall youuuu.
(Just then, he called.)
“My Duchess!” He began.
“How is my special one doing?”
(His speech was sluggish.)
“I’m okay. I’m exhausted but I don’t feel sleepy for now. Where you? The place sounds noisy. Are you in a club?”
“Yeees I’m out with my friends. And you got me so worried. I had to dunda. But I’m not drunk. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you already broke. You have fun. Take care of yourself please, will you?”
“See how much she cares. If you were here I’d kiss you. Even anywhere you want.”
I laughed, “Duke are you listening to yourself right now?”
“Don’t you want my kisses?”
“Gosh! You’re so drunk.”
“How else can I show you right now what I feel for you? Don’t you feel me Lynne?”
“I feel you but you’re drunk right now.”
“I still feel you and want to show you what I feel for you sweetheart. Please let me.. Please?”
I giggled, “How do you plan on doing that then?
“Are you online now?”
“Yes. But I wanna sleep. And you also go home. You are so wasted.”
“I will. As soon as you see what I have for you online. Hoping you’re still willing to come to Mombasa. It’s what I have for you. Sawa?”
He hung up.
I yawned. An indication that sleep was one more yawn away. A whatsapp message popped.
It read, Duke: ? image
I yawned again. I clicked the pop up as I nursed the yawn.
The yawn ended successfully and the next successful thing was the auto downloaded image.
Immediately, sleep departed like a rat in the kitchen when light is switched on and my senses took over like stroke on a vulnerable body. The reflex of my tongue uttered, “WTF!” Followed by, “OMG!”
Well, I just have one word to say. Manhood!
Stay tuned mjango for what unfolds, next week!