SHOOT YOUR SHOT V

She squeezed the flesh of my back with her fingers as if it was dough. Her acrylic nails had dug into my back until the pain from it was next to normal. Like I wanted her to always dig through my back with her nails whenever the thrusts got too good to withhold involuntary body reactions like that one in particular. She moaned, not too loud and not too soft into my ear. My eardrums relayed that to my brain in a special way that sure did arouse me. There is a faked moan and there is a real moan. I could tell this one was real because it came in the middle of breathing. She didn’t intend to moan when she starts to breathe out but she finds herself moaning in the middle of breathing out.
(Read the previous episode here.)
She bit my ear from time to time. I take it that it’s true there is a pain of some sort. But it’s seamlessly overridden by pleasure and that forms the beauty of it all. When she realised she had bit it too much, she licked it as if to soothe me. Every time she licked my ear she was so specific on where she licked. It was right underneath my earlobe on the valley that nobody has ever cared about. They’ve cared about other valleys but not that one that has its own uniqueness in sensuality. At times she’d pass her tongue through the inner edges of my ear and to me, that was her saying, “I like it that way. Yes, that way darling.” And it’d make me even more determined to cause her more shocks of joy as our hips constantly embraced each other.

****

“Mwamburi!” I said.
“Mjango!” He responded.
“So it did happen.”
“I’d be a fat liar if I said otherwise. “ He said with confidence written all over his face.
“I would have patted your back,” I said while leaning back on the chair.
“So why don’t you?” He chuckled.
“I have to know first whether she rubbed your chest and whispered something sweet into your ear, the ear she had now become her delicacy.”
“Well then…”

****

They said the end of a matter is better than the beginning. The end in that bed, her bed which we found ourselves in – nude after the foreplay on the couch – was the best ending I have ever had. It doesn’t go without saying that it’s among the endings I wished never really ended. But it’s fair enough since the end paves way for more escapades.
It’s after such an end that the world around you slows down again. Everything goes back to normal. Like you were both in a cocoon and it suddenly got opened. The adrenaline spillage stops and you feel your blood that was pacing now slowing down like it has nothing to run for again. All veins and arteries led to the loins but now they’re back to their normal route.
We lay on our backs panting. Emily, whose hair now looked liked Medusa’s gently repositioned her thorax to mine. She raised her right leg and rested her thigh on mine. For a moment I was stuck in the realisation that I was in bed with her. The one lady I truly admired. Now I’m seeing her bare. And I’m now not seeing part of her thigh but all of it. Wait! The black spot that had been sticking out on the edges of her outfits. It was a tattoo of a sunflower on her thigh. I didn’t bother to ask. I could feel her breath sweeping through my neck. Her right arm toured around my chest and my forbidden kingdom from time to time.
“That was amazing loves,” She whispered in my ear.
I scoffed.
“Can I make a confession?” She asked.
“Sure. It’s about time for confessions.” I whispered back.
“I really didn’t expect this,”
“Expect what?” Slightly moving my head.
“You know, everything that happened tonight,”
I didn’t respond just yet. Just the way James Bond would do when he doesn’t want to reveal his vulnerabilities. It might be a trap! Women he ends up with take advantage of being close to him just to overtake him in his missions.
“From when I served you in the bar,” She continued, “To Mt. Everest and all the fun we had, then the intimacy,”
“You mean the sex?” The James Bond in me asked.
She giggled, “Yes, the sex was heavenly. You really do know how to treat a woman.”
“That’s lovely of you to say. But since you didn’t expect this, what did you expect then.”
“I don’t know. But it’s because you’re a clean freak. Don’t ask me how I knew that.”
“Who is a clean freak?” I asked and moved my upper body in repulsion.
“Hey, easy now cowboy. It’s not an insult. In fact, it’s not a bad thing. A clean freak, just from the way it sounds is someone who takes life seriously. Doesn’t fool or mess around like everybody else. You can tell they are both tidy in the inside and outside.”
“So that’s the impression I make when people interact with me?”
“Well, yes,” She said while circling her index finger around my navel. “It’s the impression. But it’s not really what I’ve seen tonight. I mean, knowing you’re a clean freak and seeing that you can be a ‘bad’ boy too sure is sexy.”

****

“I swear I could feel her vibe rebooting my libido,” Mwamburi said as he shook his head. He was just this close to saying, “Ghai!”
“So she is so damn romantic?” I asked while rubbing my beard.
“I don’t know if it’s just because I have never been romantically involved with someone or what,” He said.
“I think you were falling for her.” I rubbed my beard even more. I rub my beard when I’m thinking or when trying to imply something.
“No lie Mjango.” He said.
I folded my arms.

****

She squeezed my thorax in a manner to hug me. I tried not to say much because I knew the more we would talk the greater the chances of having an affection for her. But who said I was man enough to stop myself from falling for a woman.
“It’s not my fault that I’m a clean freak,” I said.
“It’s not anyone’s fault that we are whatever we happen to be,” She said.
“But girls tend to like bad boys as far as I know.”
She laughed, “Not all girls. But let me tell you what girls like the most, they like guys who are real. She can tell if he is being himself or just playing a role.”
“Do you think I’m being myself?” I asked.
“I think you should tell me why you’re what you are now because you’re not normally like this. Although I still like this side of you,”
She turned and we lay chest to chest. Her chin was anchored at the centre of my chest as she looked at my face with tons of charm.
She must be a smart one, I thought to myself.
“I don’t think I want to talk about it,” I said and looked away. I knew her eyes were the keys to unlock my weaknesses.
She realised she must have touched a soft spot. She drew closer to my face. Her warm breath brushed through my chin.
“You know you can tell me anything,” she said. Those are the words of a caring woman.

****

“Wait, is it possible to fall in love with someone that fast?” Mwamburi asked. I started to wonder how he was led to think that I could have an answer to that, a correct one for that matter.
“Well, in my experience, people fall in love in mysterious ways. We mostly fall in love when the other party seems to fill the gap in us. When they give what we don’t normally get and it should be what we’ve silently been longing for someone to give us. Like some people just want someone they can talk to and have them talk back equally after listening keenly and being inquisitive. When he feels like there is a connection when they talk and it’s effortless, it turns the chapati in them so it may cook on both sides. Something like that,” I said.
I felt like I had given a sermon. Huh? Chapati? Yea I know, I had to.
“Wow okay. It’s just that up to this time I still find myself questioning whether I just fell too easily because of what I was going through.” He said. He took off his jacket, it was getting hot.

****

I found myself telling her everything that I had been through with my family and my mum especially. It took someone like her, someone who would come that close to my heart and maybe even literally come close to my body to prick the bubble in me. Everything that was mostly red in colour flowed out through my words. All the bitterness I had accrued overtime towards life was all transformed into words and sometimes clicks, gnashing of teeth and curses. She just lay there listening like it was her job. Whenever I thought I was done talking, she must have been psychic because she didn’t say anything as if she knew I had still not exhausted it all. So a while later, I would continue to let it all out. Or maybe that’s why she had her palm on my chest to feel my heart’s expression of it all because words can never tell it all. I expressed that all I wanted from then was to live one day at a time. Live today while it’s here. Living to secure a future of some kind was vanity because all we can be sure of is today.
“So your version of living in the moment is to overdose yourself?” She asked. It came out sharp. With the voice you’d use when you are deeply concerned about someone.
“Overdose?”
“You wanted to take that pill on your own. You insisted even after telling you that too much of it is not good for anyone.”
“I should have known you just like everyone else wouldn’t understand my pain Emily!”
I turned to the side. She followed me and fought to still have her palm on my chest. Those small acts mjango, be careful to do them. Ladies the small acts do go a long way to winning a man’s affection. The level of keenness you uphold in every detail of his words and his reactions to things. And show him that you have taken note not necessarily by mentioning it but by throwing in care and concern in your own little way.
How attentive you are in capturing the tiniest of details in what she tells you or how she reacts to things she loves. And in your own little way, show her you remember. Ladies love it when you remember since to them that’s a sign that you always have them in mind. That they come first in your affairs. None of them likes feeling or being second even when they are really secondary. Men like it when you care because they are naturally egocentric; they’ll always try to show it’s all okay even when it’s not.
“No Mwamburi. No, it’s not like that. I do understand loves. It’s just that after hearing your story I’m starting to realise that you’re taking it all out on yourself. Sorry to say but out of how I’ve heard you speak, I can certainly say that the booze, drugs and messing around? That’s not you. No amount of sorrow should change who you are in the inside. You were not wrong to hope for a better future with your mum. What’s the purpose of living if we don’t look forward to seeing tomorrow? Though I haven’t known you for long, I can tell you’re a good young man. Keep it real like that, if not for you then for your mum and for me if I matter to you.”

****

“You guy I was almost in tears man. No other lady in my countable experiences with them has ever touched the core of my being like that,” Mwamburi said.
He was looking away because he was trying to fight back the salty liquid that flows out of our eyes when our emotional organs are touched in all the right or wrong ways. Yea I know it’s called tears but I don’t want call a spade a spade now. Can’t you see there is a grown man having a moment here? Let’s give him some space. Mwamburi, cry it all out.
I said nothing at that moment because even when you think you should say something in such moments, just know the devil will drop a bad word amidst the things you think you should say and that will be the bomb that will blow their emotional dam. So you’d rather not say anything mjango.
For two months since that night, Mwamburi never lay a finger on booze or anything with the potential to fly his sobriety past the world we live in and can see. Neither did he lay hands on ladies like he had begun to. He visited the clubhouse, yes, but only to say hello to Telvo and of course, to see Emily at work. Occasionally, they’d go out for coffee or dinner.
Just a reminder from Mjango. For the times we shall go out wherever and whenever kindly remember I don’t do coffee or tea. For those who will be willing to buy me a strong drink, it’s easier to decline from here than when we are at the designated joint already. So humbly receive my declination from here and incline your offer towards anything else less stronger. In fact, not strong at all.  Thank you. Yours truly, Mjango.
Life was good for Mwamburi during the two months. He lived for himself which includes going back to school and doing the things he is passionate about. It shouldn’t go without saying that he also had a new element in his life that made life bearable. I’m calling it element because this one involves Chemistry between two people. Emily was that element that constantly bombarded within his life throughout every single day. We all need that element in our lives, don’t we?
The answer is yes. And if yes then make your move if you have to. Call her today and ask her out for coffee or invite her over for lunch. Mjango, I said lunch! You’ve been inviting her for supper and you’re wondering why she has never shown up? Well, it’s because you started with a bigger stride. Supper is taken at night for God’s sake. And you expect her not to assume that all you’re targeting is the night?
Lady, you’ve been spotting him from time to time? And you have reason to believe that he has been spotting you too even though not as much as you spot him? Or even if you don’t know any of his spotting activities just put on your best smile and walk up to him and say hi. Ask his name and tell him your name and say you just thought you should say hello. Careful now not to express that your world falls apart whenever you see him or your legs fall apart when you think of him even if it’s the truth! Don’t reveal anything that will propel his already God-given ego. Keep it simple and you’ll be able to sleep better at night because you’re ever overtaken by fantasies about the day he will spot you and say hi to you and tell you how gorgeous you look.
And there, you made a friend and who knows? Chemistry might soon be knocking on both of your doors.
In other words, all I’m saying is, Shoot Your Shot! Take a chance towards happiness when you can and when you have it.

****

“Shoot the shot while you still have the gun in your hand,” Mwamburi said. “Emily made me realise that I had been too hard on myself. Yes, it was okay to be ambitious and focused. But it was not okay to lock myself up from the normalities of life in the process. Like love and relationships with people.”
“Did she actually say that directly?” I asked.
“Not really. But being with her during those two months made me understand that. And I took it like she was giving me a green light to keep on investing in our friendship or relationship until we were unstoppable in love. She was the antidote I never had Mjango. I had tangible reasons to believe that she was the rib taken from me by the Maker.”
I loved that last line. Mwamburi mentioned that ladies found him romantic. I think I’m starting to know why they say that.
“Wow, that’s beautiful to hear. Shall we toast to that?”
“No!” He said. I lowered my milkshake slowly and guiltily.
“Why?”
He went silent for a moment.
“Because within those two months, all her signs read that she was loving what we had as much as I did. She led me on. Very funny people huh?” He shook his head. “We even shared our lives and combined our ambitions. We were on our way to ripening the fruit of our friendship. I even introduced my Uncle Mwangombe and Aunt Tina and to her. But she?” He paused and looked away.
He continued, “I realised later that she had not revealed everything about herself as much as she should have by that time. There’s a dark side not similar but relative to mine that involved internal pain that she didn’t tell me about. It was a secret enough to shatter everything we had together,”
“And let me guess, it took you back to square one.”
“All the way back to square one and this time, I stayed for long. Long enough to develop a problem with taking tea.” He said and sipped his glass of water.
 
Shoot Your Shot continues…