At one point in our lives, we were unlucky to be casualties of love. Most of us if not all of us have suffered from the effects of loving someone. In human language, that is what is called a heartbreak. Ever wondered why it is termed as so? Maybe it is because when you experience it you feel pain in your chest, like your heart is a biscuit and it has just been snapped into two.
The pain fluctuates like a bulb under an unstable current. When the current is high, the bulb lights up bright. Thus the pain is said to be stronger when we experience flashbacks. Two young ladies, Joyce and Faith, I was having a small talk with about heartbreaks in a wedding told me what hurts most during heart breaks is not the fact that the two broke up but the memories that haunt one afterwards. Look at us talking about heartbreaks in a wedding. Well, I guess it’s the same as talking about festive celebrations when a goat is being slaughtered. That’s like a funeral you know.
Many times these memories are triggered according to your proximity to your former lover. The closer you are to them, the stronger the memories and there, the greater the pain of heartbreak or even the more you feel like you’re still attached to them.
Sometimes this pain is not really pain. It is a mixture of anger and regret. Regret brings about the anger. Regret most probably because you feel like you wasted a combination of every resource you spent. Here is a list of the resources:
For whatever duration it was. I know of a couple that broke up after three years of a serious and flourishing relationship. Lord! I feel those three years as if I was the one in that relationship. Just stop and think about it. Three years of your life, or some even go for more. Ah! We are talking about relationships that didn’t amount to marriage. What will we feel about those people who divorce? Let’s not even start. The time you spent bears the records of the memories you shared. Everything you two did together. Some of these things leave permanent scars.
From the histories of your lives, to your loved ones and friends, to your ambitions and worst of all, life secrets. One of these two ladies said that when she gets into a new relationship on that day she ever will, she will get into it with one leg in and the other out. I understood her because she didn’t want to run into the risk of giving her all and falling so deep because anyway, whatever falls breaks. The only problem with that strategy is that it’s not realistic. Love is love. You either love or you don’t. If you love half way, then you don’t love at all. We all know that there is no trial and error when it comes to love, like, “Let me test whether I really love you.” If you come to a point where you want to test, stop the test even before you start. Because you already have the results and the result is you don’t love whoever it is you want to test.
And because love is some complicated shit, sometimes you do love, but you get caught in between the crossfires of life and you start to bleed. You bleed out the attention you used to give your dear one. You bleed out those little things that bound you two together. When you’re about to die from losing a tank of blood, you get a transfusion. Unfortunately the transfusion is from some guy called Lucifer. He empties some blood into you that brainwashes you. You start to think that you can do well on your own, or you can get someone else better and all that nonsense. You only get back to your senses when it is all over and gone. Then the regret starts eating you up like termites on a piece of timber. So there goes the second probable thing that makes people regret; when you start to miss the waters because the well ran dry.
It is the answer to everything in life. That means it answered questions such as the simple ones like how are we going to meet up and where? It also answered the complex ones like what kind of gift should I get you for your birthday/our anniversary? We have seen the extents mjangos have dared to go to only to buy their lovers the gift they think they deserve. I wouldn’t want to mention names but the most expensive and trendiest phones in the market have been bought and not forgetting the toys of the road. Anyway, if you have it why not spend it?
I don’t think a mjango should ever be blamed for loving whoever they love even after they get heartbroken by the same. Yes, I have found myself way too many times siding with mjangos who argue that wisdom is paramount when it comes to love. That you should be wise enough to see that he is playing you and that is reason enough to show yourself the door before you’re kicked out. One night my mjango, Jose, and I were having a man talk by the rails of the hostels in campus. He told me of a mutual friend we had who was dating a guy who was quite famous because he was a student leader. Now Jose has a way of getting to know people’s crap but trust me it’s not through gossip. I think he just has sharp ears. He says this mjango plays his girlfriend with other girls. That’s not the bad part. The bad part is that this chic knows about it but what has she done so far? Anything to everything else but not breaking up with the son of a gun!
That story rang a bell. I also knew of some other chic who, wait this one is more serious. We have to pause for a moment of silence for this one…
Thank you for continuing to read immediately after I said you should pause! It’s nice to see that my readers are not really law abiding citizens. You’re the mjangos that heartbreak others and don’t say sorry. (Hehe.)
This chic was dating one of the hostel socialites. I know there are some who offer to pay me to reveal the identities of mjangos I write about. Why don’t you pay me not expose you next instead? I call him a socialite not because he had bleached his face like most socialites are expected to do nowadays. He is already a light skin. But because he is a hunk, a punk and obviously very famous for the former reasons mentioned. It’s evident all over his Instagram profile. Everyone in the hostel especially the girls knew that this socialite was a bad boy. (There’s another term that is used to refer boys like him that I cannot use on my righteous blog.) Why did the girls know him so much like that? Because they have been victims of his schemes. Now through their experience and confirmed gossip amongst themselves, this young innocent girl was advised against dating the dude. Jose was hoping I’d tell him that she listened. I hoped so too. She was just another victim in his prey list but she couldn’t believe it. She believed it was love. He still banged other chics when they were still ‘dating.’ Some of whom I knew personally. The chic leaves the socialite’s room before the 10pm curfew only for another to go in to spend the night. Jose was so damn pissed like, “Na hajawahi jua? Kwani huyu manzi ni mjinga aje!” If anyone passed near where we stood all they’d hear is, “Hawa wasichana wanahitaji viboko!” and “Wachapwe!”
Speaking of socialites, there is a relationship of some two celebrities that gave Instagram users sleepless nights. Now the mjango is left in tears to the extent of producing a song in that effect. Poor boy. (This is not funny by the way if you’re laughing.) The guy is truly heartbroken. Again, I would find myself saying like everyone else, “Wasn’t that expected when you date a socialite?”
But the truth is, we are only human. And what differentiates us from animals is the ability to love. That is common to mankind. So it is not fair to throw stones at people who have loved and now suffer because of it. They stick with those people that hurt them day in and day out because they believe in them. We have seen women who have been butchered by their husbands but they still have the heart to forgive them and there you are asking whether they were bewitched. Okay, if they were bewitched, then love is witchcraft and we are all bewitched. That is how the Most High designed love to be; boundless and keeping no record of wrongs.
You see that celebrity socialite as a walking piece of plastic? Then the man saw her as the most beautiful piece of the Most High’s many creations. What’s the difference between you and him? He loves her and you don’t. He even sang saying that he loved her despite all her problems. Some of us needed to have learnt earlier that love looks beyond one’s flaws. And now maybe it’s too late to apologise. So mjango, don’t beat yourself for loving him or her too much. Let not those people who talk like there’s a contingency plan for love fool you. They can’t use that plan themselves. In fact, wait till they are heartbroken and ask them whether their contingency plan worked. Don’t be surprised when they give you an excuse out of embarrassment like, “Mimi ni kama nilirogwa!”


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Written by The Mjango

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Patie The Nangila
Patie The Nangila
5 years ago

But I will always believe in true Love ?

5 years ago

??niiice piece right there

4 years ago

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m part if the “mimi nilirogwa” battalion. ????

Reply to  TheMjangoSeries
4 years ago

?????? sikuji na sauti kwa io interview.