ANYTHING BUT THE HEELS

Shouting, “You are then one who took us there! And because of your big mouth, my favorite shoes are now gone! Expensive heels!”
We went to seek for help from a twenty four – hour chemist. The chemist was an aged nice lady.
I covered my mouth and breathed like a charging rhino to withhold my tongue from releasing the train of curses that was railing fast up my gut. She could not keep her mouth shut for us to figure out this together. Women have always played as first player in blame games, ever since the days of Adam and Eve. So at that time, I was not entirely surprised to see her react like that. Sincerely, I had asked her earlier that afternoon to leave her sisters place in Parklands early. Now we were at the wrong place at the wrong time, bearing the consequences of her actions.
“Just let her calm down,” The chemist said as we waited for a cab, another cab actually.
 
She had gone to visit her sister who had just been released from hospital with her new born ‘bouncing’ baby boy. I had a bad feeling about my intended going to visit her earlier that day, but she was so excited about it. I just couldn’t help it.
“Babe I can’t believe she is now a mother.” She said while jumping up and down. On her hand was a dress. I was helping her choose what to wear. I do that every time I show up in her house. Now I think I know more of feminine clothes than I know my own masculine ones. I fear one morning I will wake up and go to the office only to find colleagues taking endless pictures of me – just then I realize I wore a pair of tights and sandaks. God forbid.
“They say seeing is believing, si you saw a picture of the baby?”
“No I didn’t. She refused to send. My sister just wants me to go and see her little angel. I want to see him too.” I saw her eyes glow as she said that. I crossed my fingers wishing she doesn’t say, “Honey when are we getting ours?”
I said, “Ooh! But do you have to see her today? I mean, give it sometime, she just left the hospital an hour ago. Let’s go together tomorrow.”
The way she looked at me after I said that, I felt like leaving the scene lest I have my ears and every other hanging external organ bitten off.
Clicking, “Ebu what should I wear? How is this?” Lifting the skater mini-dress she was holding.
“That dress is too short. You are not going for a samba party.”
She wanted to giggle but I saw her hold it back because she was still upset with what I had said earlier.
“Why do you need to look fancy anyway? It’s just your sister and her twenty-one hour old baby.”
She shut her eyes and said, “If you dare say anything stupid again, I swear I will kill those babies you are too shy to give me! You hear me?”
I’m never moved when she threatens like that, “Si tutaona ni nani atalilia mtoto mwishowe.” I laughed.
I could see she was all red now. Standing up and looking at my watch, “Okay fine fine, let me not spoil your big day. I’m even late. Damn! Hun I got to go.”
“Okay sawa, you go.”
Being the man I am, I felt pity for her, my woman know. I couldn’t go with her since I had an interview to host at my work place.
I held her by the waist, “I’m sorry dear. You know I would go with you if I could.”
She gripped my hands that were on her sides and brought them forward to her tummy. “Yes I know.” She said with a harmony in her voice.
“Si tungeenda tu kesho? Please?”
She went silent. I interrupted the silent response, “Alright I understand. But stay safe will you? And don’t stay there for too long.”
Turning around and wrapping her arms around my neck, “Okay I will leave early. But we will still go together tomorrow. Right?” I thought about that for a while. I usually think her elder sister doesn’t like me. She once said I’m too cocky. Or maybe she had a secret thing for me. It is hard to tell.
“Okay I promise.” I swallowed something hard after saying that. She pecked my nose.
“Wear a pair of jeans.” I said as I walked out of her room.
“And shoes?” She shouted.
“Rubber shoes!”
She said something in response but I was now too far off. I kept on trying to decipher what she said, something about heels. I forgot about it almost immediately and I didn’t know I would regret that.
At 10.00pm I was exiting our building at the city centre when I thought about her. Coincidentally, she called. Of course I sounded tired but glad to hear from her.
“Sasa toto?” I said.
There was a brief silence then the sound of a slight sob. The pillars of my heart collapsed. Air froze in my lungs and my left hand began experiencing its own seizure.
“Babe,” Finally she said.
“What is wrong dear? Tell me!”
“Sijui nikama nimepo… potea.”
I felt like saying, “Aakiyaoo!!” But instead, “Where are you?” She had just said she was lost yet I was asking her where she was. I didn’t realize it then.
There was a shiver in her voice, “I’m standing outside a club called, is it ‘Makui’?”
“Makui?” . I knew that joint from way back. It is Marquee in Ngara.
“Babe how did you end up in Ngara?”
“I don’t know you just come I will explain everything.”
“Okay just stay there I’m on my way.”
I could not stop thinking of all the possible bad things that could happen. Was that the intro of series bad omens? I tried to pray otherwise as I flagged a cab with my leather jacket.
I shut the door, “Wapi boss?” The driver said in an adenoidal voice with a Kamba accent. It sounded funny, but my sense of humor was tightly sandwiched between fear and rage.
I was so clouded in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I was supposed to tell him where I am heading to. Snapping back, “Ngara! Ngara! Chap! Chap!”
I was breathing heavily as the only way to nurse the shock and prospects of everything that could go wrong. I thought of how she was dressed. I hoped that she had dressed the way I told her to. Otherwise with the way she felt like dressing that day, she would definitely be mistaken for a hooker. Mark you, she is standing next to a club! I swore I would strangle any mjango I find harassing her when I get there. I thought she had been drugged. I threw away that thought however since she still had a phone. She would have called with a stranger’s number if it was so. I clicked three times when I imagined a ‘what if she didn’t leave her sister’s place as early as I said she should?’
The cab driver noticed that I was uneasy, “Eh brathe! Uko poa?”
Breathy voiced, “Manzeh ni mastress joh!”
“I can help you. We are men you know. Is it about a woman?” That was an easy guess. His English sounded funnier. I spoke Swahili to make him stick to it lest I start to think he was trying to make me laugh yet hell had just made an occasional surprise delivery that day.
“Budake atanimada kitu ikimfanyikia.” I found myself saying aloud.
“Kwani yeye ni mtoto wa Sonko?” The ‘Sonko’ ended up sounding like ‘Songo’.
I responded by breathing out another set of hot air. My lungs had become a boiler of a kind.
“Sijui amesema amelost tu. Ako base inaitwa Marquee.”
“Hapo napajua. Hata ni kwa hii corner tumefika.” He swung the wheel to the left.
“She must be somewhere…” I felt my phone vibrate in my arms. She was calling.
“Hallo? Aki babe where are you?”
“Nimefika just stay put.”
The cab came to a grinding halt towards the road side.
“Tungojee hapa.” I said as I alighted even before it stopped moving.
I heard him say, “Sawa.”
My system had hit the red button thus having my pulse rate and adrenaline rush on the loose. I took a turn for the club’s parking lot. I saw her standing under a flickering street light.
On the first flick, I noted she was in a blue fur style shrug. On the next flick, a high waist distressed bleached ripped jeans. Phew! It was not a dress and a short one for that matter. And on the third flick, I nearly ran mad. She had the shiny $84.99 ballroom heels I had bought for her from ebay on the previous week – on her feet. Those were not shoes to wear to see her sister and a baby for heaven’s sake! She had never worn them before and she was to wear them to come for a date, dinner, couple’s night or something!
When she saw me, she began running towards me. I was still swimming in the new wave of shock because of those heels. Now here she was in Ngara, of all places, with such expensive shoes! She was even running while wearing them. I felt a stabbing kind of pain through every stride she took hastily towards me. She looked like she wanted to cry and sing glory hallelujah at the same time. But for me, I wanted to cry, not because I was glad to see her, of which I really was – but because of those shoes. Wrong occasion sweetie! Very wrong occasion!  
She hugged me so tightly, we almost fell. Those heels make her taller, almost to my height. I fought with every force within me not to say anything about those heels.
“Babe I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I left her place late.”
I knew it!
“It’s okay dear.” Ideally, it was not okay. “Though you really made me get so worried about you. Has anyone harassed you while you were here?” As I caressed her hair.
“No I’m okay Let’s just get out of here. I’m scared.”
I quickly looked around, held her hand and commenced on the ‘return her home safe ASAP’ mission. Or should I say, ‘Get these expensive heels out of this ‘everything can go wrong in one minute’ kind of a place.’
She held my hand so tightly. The last time I felt her grip my hand like that is when we were having… Something clicked, “Hun how did you end up here anyway? You haven’t told me that.”
She began, “There was crazy traffic. Then this mathree I had boarded strayed from the main road looking for another way to town through these places. We reached somewhere and the conductor said there was no other way to town unless we walk. So everyone alighted. And you know I am not familiar with these places.”
I was almost telling her, “Wewe ulilelewa kwa mansion maisha yako yote. Ni wapi ungewahi jua? Ukona bahati sana ni mimi nilikuchanua sheng na tao.” I knew I had to be careful at that time.
“Aki please don’t tell my…” Before she could finish that, we were taking the turn that would lead us to the cab when we met three terror protracted faces. They were street thugs. Both of us froze. The delivery from hell wanted to draw a signature now. One kept looking around to see whether someone was coming, another stood behind us, holding sharp objects on both our backs and the big one who looked like their mastermind, stood in front of us.
With a hoarse voice the mastermind said, “Jaribu kufanya kitu ya ujinga tuwamade sahi!”
“Sawa buda. Tutawapea kila kitu…”
“Fala ii! Funga mdomo!” He began searching my pockets. He took my phone, watch and wallet.
I could see the cab driver over this mjango’s shoulder. He had come to look for us I bet. From a distance, he must have seen what we were going through and he went back. We realized later that he had driven off.
The thug turned to her. He took her, necklace, bracelet, watch, earrings, purse… He was doing it so inappropriately. Only I am allowed to touch some places. He should have killed me first before he touches her like that. Did he hear that ladies wear jewelry in some parts? That was enough! I got mad and scared which made me blurt out without thinking, “Just take anything but the heels!”
He stood up and looked at me like I had insulted him. What had I just done? He looked at her feet. He saw the shiny-sexy shoes. “Ndo mana hutaki ziende. Wewe ni fala sana. Toa viatu siste!”
I saw her look at me like saying, “Aki I will never forgive you for this.”
“Boss kuna gari inakuja. Tuishie…” They took off.
She had never walked bare footed in her life. She cannot brag about that now.